9 If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet. ~ Proverbs 29:9
Instigating when you are losing a debate, I believe, is exactly what Solomon was referring to in these verses. If you argue with someone who cannot defend their stance, they attack you. They gaslight you. They will accuse you of being loud, aggressive, and in need of calming down because they have only one true option when it comes down to it: they have to admit that their stance is wrong, which a fool will never do. Why? Because according to Proverbs 1:7, they despise wisdom and instruction.
Throughout the book of Proverbs, they are characterized as quarrelsome, aggressive, and making their own path to destruction, ignoring any instruction of the wise. These people are self-destructive. Haters of wisdom. Mockers. Unable to ever find truth. Not because no one has told them. Not because no one has taken the time to explain it, but because they hate instruction. They hate Truth. They are wise in their own eyes, and therefore unable to ever come to the knowledge or understanding of Truth.
So, what can we do? We can plant the seed by showing them the Truth and the folly of their ways or beliefs, and then we place them in the hands of God. You can’t argue the Truth into them. You can’t even beat the Truth into them. Solomon says:
Crush a fool in a mortar with a pestle
along with crushed grain,
yet his folly will not depart from him.
Proverbs 27:22
In other words, no matter what you do to a fool, you will never get them to see the Truth. This one you can only put into the hands of God. Into the hands of Him who can melt stone hearts, open deaf ears, and remove scales from blind eyes. It is only the mercy of God that will save a fool. Therefore, show them the Truth, but do not let them anger you. Don’t let them get to you. Hold your peace, and when it’s all said and done, place them in the hands of the Almighty. Not every soul is the same. There is not a one-size-fits-all for leading people to Christ. Some you can show the Truth, and they will accept on the spot, while others will need prayer, and still others will need prayer and fasting.
Peace. Love. Go Forth and Know With Whom You Deal.